How to Abruptly Stop a Sentence but Also Continue It

When a Comma Isn't Enough

Have you ever wondered how to punctuate dialogue that's interrupted by an action? If so, you're in good company. Many have the same questions about punctuating interrupted dialogue.

I've seen the topic addressed multiple times, without conclusion, in both writing forums and editing groups. There's confusion about how to format sentences and which punctuation to use when action interrupts dialogue.

Yet many style and grammar resources show the same way to punctuate dialogue interruptions—mark off the interruption with a pair of dashes.

The recommendation in The Chicago Manual of Style is quite clear.

In the seventeenth edition, 6.87, we find:

Em dashes for sudden breaks or interruptions. An em dash or a pair of em dashes may indicate a sudden break in thought or sentence structure or an interruption in dialogue. [Emphasis mine.]

There's even more explanation:

If the break belongs to the surrounding sentence rather than to the quoted material, the em dashes must appear outside the quotation marks.

And an example:

"Someday he's going to hit one of those long shots, and"—his voice turned huffy—"I won't be there to see it."

There's not much doubt regarding CMOS's recommendation for interruption of dialogue; use dashes.

If CMOS isn't enough to convince you, let's look at more information.

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We can disrupt a sentence by adding an interruptor, a nonessential word, phrase, or dependent clause. In some cases we can even interrupt with an independent clause. We use a pair of commas, a pair of em dashes, or a pair of parentheses to set off the interruption midsentence. (See Dealing With Interruptions for more on interruptors.)

Interruptions set off by commas and dashes are quite common in fiction. Those set off with parentheses are not as common in fiction as in nonfiction, but you can use parentheses for interruptors. Think of a snarky aside delivered by a first-person narrator.

There's one drawback, however, to using commas with interruptors—they can't be used to set off an independent clause inside another independent clause. A pair of commas simply isn't sufficient for that purpose. Dashes (or parentheses) are needed.

From Words into Type (3rd ed.):

"Commas are not strong enough to set off a complete sentence interpolated within another; dashes or parentheses are required.

Their example:

Ace—people who don't know him well call him "Goody"—is aided by a natural sense of humor.

The Writer's Digest Grammar Desk Reference puts it this way:

"A pair of commas cannot be used to set off an interruptive element that is the equivalent of a grammatically complete sentence. Choose either a pair of dashes or a pair of parentheses instead."

Their example (they show the same example with parentheses in place of the dashes):

Her brother—he's an intern at MTV—wants to move to California.

A few more examples (mine)—

Waldo chased after the car, I heard all the details later, until the Mazda reached the cross street. X

Waldo chased after the car—I heard all the details later—until the Mazda reached the highway.

Tara cried dramatically, her poodle joined in with a howl, for exactly three minutes. X

Tara cried dramatically—her poodle joined in with a howl—for exactly three minutes.

The scarf was white, blue, it was a lovely robin's egg blue, and yellow. X

The scarf was white, blue—it was a lovely robin's egg blue—and yellow.

Bree helped her husband, he's a doctor, break out of jail. X

Bree helped her husband—he's a doctor—break out of jail.

For the same reason we don't interrupt independent clauses with other independent clauses using only a pair of commas, we don't set off an action or thought that interrupts a sentence of dialogue (in lieu of a dialogue tag) with commas. The setup is exactly the same.

"She told me she did it," Aurora pounded the table, "smiling the whole time." X

"She told me she did it"—Aurora pounded the table—"smiling the whole time."

"I need to get to him before the police do," at least I thought I did, "so he doesn't think I abandoned him." X

"I need to get to him before the police do"—at least I thought I did—"so he doesn't think I abandoned him."

This is the same format used in the examples of an independent clause interrupting another independent clause. One sentence can't nest inside another when separated solely by a pair of commas. The comma separation isn't a strong enough separator for this condition.

Just as a comma on its own isn't enough to stand between independent clauses without causing a comma splice, a comma isn't the right punctuation to interrupt dialogue.

Use a pair of dashes. And when you do, place them around the interruption and outside the quotation marks of the dialogue.

Now, not to confuse you but to show a true exception to the rule, a dialogue tag can interrupt a sentence of dialogue. By convention we allow dialogue tags preceded and followed by a comma to interrupt an independent clause in dialogue.

"She told me she did it," Aurora said, "smiling the whole time."

Dialogue tags are something other. Like a question tag—you picked up the pizza, didn't you ?—they're allowed special privileges. We don't consider dialogue, thought, and question tags to be comma splices, even though they actually are. Their use is a convention somebody decided on, one that serves writers well. But the rules of that convention don't translate to other situations.

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Commas are versatile and in many ways, quite common. We find them everywhere, use them everywhere. They break up long bits of text into smaller units that are more easily comprehended. They separate related words and phrases, units of text, from other words and phrases. Commas are also used to group sections of text. Key words and purposes are group and separate.

But commas can't do it all. And they're not suitable for every need and circumstance.

We use a period to definitively end a sentence, to bring a unit of words to a halt. We use semicolons and colons, dashes and parentheses to corral other units of text. And each punctuation mark has its purposes and limitations.

Most writers know that commas aren't suited to stand alone between two independent clauses, not without a conjunction there to bear some of the load. When a comma is used alone between independent clauses, the result is a comma splice.

The boy dreamed of being a fireman, his mother wanted him to be a chef. X

There are a handful of ways to rewrite to eliminate the comma splice.

The boy dreamed of being a fireman, but his mother wanted him to be a chef. (add a coordinating conjunction after the comma)

The boy dreamed of being a fireman; his mother wanted him to be a chef. (substitute a semicolon for the comma)

Although the boy dreamed of being a fireman, his mother wanted him to be a chef. (change one of the independent clauses to a dependent one)

The boy dreamed of being a fireman. His mother wanted him to be a chef. (substitute a period for the comma and create two sentences)

A comma splice is one type of run-on sentence. A run-on sentence isn't one that goes on and on, seemingly without an end. A run-on sentence is created when two independent clauses, two complete sentences, are fused in a way that independent clauses shouldn't be joined.

Some run-ons have neither commas nor conjunctions. They're simply independent clauses that have been allowed to crash into one another, with no hint to show where one clause ends and the second begins.

Tracy peered into the deep hole a pair of blinking eyes peered back at her. X

We can bring clarity to this bit of confusion the same ways we did with the comma splice sentence.

Tracy peered into the deep hole, and a pair of blinking eyes peered back at her.

Tracy peered into the deep hole; a pair of blinking eyes peered back at her.

When Tracy peered into the deep hole, a pair of blinking eyes peered back at her.

Tracy peered into the deep hole. A pair of blinking eyes peered back at her.

Something must separate the independent clauses. Most of the time, that is.

We may purposely use run-ons to convey a fast-moving feel or a lyric style. And run-ons are definitely used in fiction and in poetry. Yet when used without consideration, they can easily create confusion for the reader.

We know that to communicate clearly and easily, we can't simply throw words together. We put words into a particular order and join or separate the component parts so that others can make sense of what we write or say. And sometimes the smallest detail in the arrangement or presentation of the different units can make a big difference in what is communicated.

The thief who stole the car made a safe getaway. The thief who stole the jewels was caught down the street.

The thief, who stole the car, made a safe getaway.

In the first example, there are multiple thieves. In the second, there is only one thief. I used the same words, but the placement of a comma between thief and who makes a big difference to our meaning.

The beagle bit the rat.

The rat bit the beagle.

The same words in a different order allow us to create different scenarios. Or even nonsensical sentences, like this next one.

Rubbing the magic lamp, the genie appeared in front of Bobby. X

Rubbing the magic lamp, Bobby waited for the genie to appear.

In the first genie sentence, I created a dangling modifier that has the genie rather than Bobby rubbing the lamp.

Word order matters. Punctuation matters. Verb forms matter.

Rules

We call our ways of ordering words and placing punctuation rules. And, yes, there are always exceptions to rules. But when we're trying to communicate clearly, the rules help us set up that clear communication quickly and easily. We know what the rules accomplish; so do readers. Through the few examples I included here, we can clearly see how failing to follow rules can cause communication errors.

I'm all for experimenting and creating novel effects when clarity and communication don't suffer as a result. But when an effect or experimentation causes problems, I suggest that a writer or editor re-examine the experiment. If readers are confused and are pulled out of the fiction by the creation of an effect, that effect needs another look or two.

A Few Additional Considerations

•  We don't have to interrupt dialogue with an action or thought. In fact, doing so may not be the best idea. Yet interrupting is a possibility, so knowing how to format the interruption is a necessity.

However, we could report a concurrent action with a different format.

"She told me she did it." Aurora pounded the table. "And she smiled the whole time."

•  The interruption we've been looking at is an interruption of syntax, an interruption of the sentence structure. This is not the way to show that the dialogue itself has been interrupted. To show an interruption of the spoken words, include an em dash inside the quotation marks, at the point where the dialogue is interrupted.

"The mirror fell and—"
"I knew you'd drop it."

•  And to give you one more component to consider, I'll add that we can even interrupt an action with dialogue. The format is the same as interrupting the dialogue; the dialogue goes between the quotation marks and dashes separate the action from the dialogue.

Conrad reached for the cookie jar—"I can get it, Mommy"—and knocked the coffee mug off the counter.

This isn't a common setup, but it's not totally unheard of either.

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I hope the information presented here helps settle this issue for you. Most style, grammar, and punctuation books cover interrupters and will advise you when to use commas, parentheses, and dashes. But you can safely use dashes for interruptors in dialogue. Commas? They're not up to the task. Not unless the interruption is a dialogue tag.

Tags: comma, dialogue, em dash, independent clause Posted in: Beyond the Basics, Grammar & Punctuation

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Source: https://theeditorsblog.net/2018/04/08/when-a-comma-isnt-enough/

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